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------- Episode 9 - Integrity

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------- Episode 1 - The Subway

------- Episode 2 - The Inquiry

------- Episode 3 - Math Homework

------- Episode 4 - The TV Station

------- Episode 5 - Meet Karl Konrad Kinkade

Wish Me Luck

This month many will celebrate St. Patrick's Day, so I went with the "Lucky" Theme for my interviews and pictorials. It's so perfect too as you will see. I interview Kevin E. Taylor and he talks about his new novel Jaded. I photographed Jevone Smith as my Mystical Leprechaun. I've been asking a few close friends if they believe in luck and many of them said yes, while others believe that God has everything to do with the way their lives flow. I don't believe in luck myself but to each his own. I believe that everything happens within a divine order. There are times when I've felt like I was having bad luck, but in hindsight, I believe that those were lessons that I needed to learn.

I was out at a night club with a buddy of mine recently and he expressed an interest in someone at the club. I told him to go for it, what does he have to lose? He honestly answered the question with doubts. He felt like he would look like a fool if the guy rejected him. He was hopeful that he could establish a connection but if he didn't he'd be disappointed and I said to him, why even bother going forward into that with those thoughts. I think alot of times we undervalue ourselves when we go out to be social. We don't believe enough in our own abilities to know that we are worth something so we tend to hold ourselves in lesser regard. Some of us, not all of course. All of this to say, when you go out into the world, hold your head up. Be sure of yourself. If you must believe in luck then so be it, but be PROACTIVE and live a life that you love. Enjoy!!

interview with Stefon Peace

1. Who are some of your music influences and why? Wow there are so many great musicians that have inspired me vocally. Of course you have the greats, the legends that I grew up listening to such as Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Luther Vandross, Donny Hathaway, and Al Green. Also Gospel artists like Fred Hammond, Darryl Coley, and the Winans. But I can't leave out newer artists that are really talented and keeping us all grooving today such as John Legend, Maxwell, Robin Thicke, Musiq Soulchild and Ne-yo.

2. Do you come from a family of musicians? I do actually. My whole family sings. I know its kind of cliche but we all sang together as I grew up. My dad is my favorite vocalist and I learned all I know from him. I would watch him move crowds with his voice and it really inspired me to do the same.

3. How passionate are you about singing? would you do it for free? I really cant explain how it feels when I'm in front of people doing what I love to do. Music moves me in such a way that is too emotional to express in words. To tell you the truth it's an all day everyday thing for me. I sing unconciously. It's true what they say if its in you its in you!!! I love to sing and I would definitely sing for free. If I can make somebody move or feel something just by using my voice, it will mean so much more to me than monetary compensation.

4. In most black singer's story, they say they started in the church. is this the case with you? where did you begin singing? Most definitely. All my gifts come from the Lord and that is where I learned to use my voice. I started singing in church when I was 5 years old. My parents were shocked when they first heard me sing in front of the church. They expected me to be scared or shy. But I went up there and gave it my all. God has continued to bless me vocally every since.

5. How often do you practice vocally? All day long. From the shower to the train to work to the gym....Its funny sometimes I have to tell myself to stop so I dont wear myself out. Its just that I am so passionate about it. I guess you can say when it comes to music I am a perfectionist. I want to give whoever I'm singing to my very best.

6. You've done amateur night at the apollo and won. tell me how you felt that night. AMAZING!!! I have watched the Apollo on television since I was a kid. It has always been my dream to perform on the famous Apollo satge and in front of the even more famous Apollo audience. I felt it was a great accomplishment to not only make it through my song without getting BOO'd of stage, but to go on to win! I was so thankful for that experience. It really gave me the confidence to persue singing with everything I have.

7. How do you plan to win on march 28th when you go back to the apollo? Continued practice, I plan on giving it my best shot. I have really invested a lot of time into promoting this event. Trying to get as many people to come out as possible. And most importantly,..A lot of prayer!!!LOL.

FLAWLESS - MARCH 2007 - JEVONE SMITH

1. Tell me about yourself, Where you were born, background? Well I was born in Brooklyn, New York. But to keep it real I grow up in Long Island. I don’t want to say I had a rough life. Like most African American kids I grew up without a father. Don’t get it twisted my father was a great man. He died when I was only a few days old so I never really got to know him. This brings me to my Mom she is my hero. That woman did everything she could to have food for me to eat, put clothes on my back. I basically had everything I needed as a kid.

2. Do you play any sports? If so, which ones, do you have a favorite sport that you watch? As a kid I grew up playing basketball and football. At West Hempstead High School I was an All- County Running back. I then went to play football at C.W. Post. I still love football, but my new favorite sport is bodybuilding. My two favorite bodybuilders are Dexter Jackson and Darrem Charles. Phill Heath is getting up there. At one point I wanted to be a bodybuilder. The only problem with that is you can’t fit the clothes. You will see me on stage one day though.

3. How many songs do you have on YOUR ipod? Oh my gosh I can’t count how many. I listen to everything, I do mean everything. From T.I., Madlib, The Killers, Jill Scott, Fallout Boy, everything. I really do believe you have to have an open mind. With music even so much more, it gives you a chance to hear other peoples styles, which will in turn help you be more creative.

4. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 7 items would you definitely need to have with you? Wow 7 huh that’s a lot I don’t think I need so many. 1. Blackberry so that someone can find my ass. I also have to check my myspace (www.myspace.com/jevone) 2. A Television with X-Box 360 NCAA-07 I challenge anyone, 3. An Mp3 player with tons of music even stuff I have never heard before. Have to open your mind to a lot of new stuff. 4. Lotion I can’t be ashy even if it is on a deserted island, 5. A pair of clippers gotta have sharp lines in my head when the camera crews film me, 6. Swiss army knife I am not a boy scout but I will find a way. If Tom Hanks can survive so can I damnit, 7. Picture of the people I love the most.

5. Who is your favorite desperate house wife and why? I would have to say Edie she looks very mysterious I like that. I think every guy likes a girl he has to figure out sort of like a puzzle.

6. If you had to choose between, music, television, books or the internet, which would you choose and why? I would choose the internet. Just for the simple fact that the other three you can get from the internet. Also I am addicted to you tube (afro ninja what!!) Also the internet gives you lot more access to the world.

7. Do you believe in LUCK? I really don’t believe in luck. I believe in God. He gives you a path. Now if you choose that path that is up to you. Life is never easy. “Luck is what happens when hard work meets opportunity.” – Anonymous.

interview with Kevin E. Taylor

1. Let's talk about your novel JADED. where did you come up with the concept for it? I have led a lot of men's groups in my days and started to realize that I kept meeting that same brother. He had a bad relationship with the wrong guy and was bitter. He picked the wrong guy to share love with and it failed. One day, I was riding on the bus from NYC back to NJ and the character of Joshua just starting talking, from his desk. Joshua's brokenheart took over my heart and I really wanted to talk back to him, but I realized that I had to speak for him first. I could feel him and I just started writing. I knew I had a novel in me when I would wake up and hit the computer before the shower or working out. I would have to get a statement on paper and after a while, I just dedicated certain hours to writing. The thing that kept haunting me was "WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH WITH LOVE, BUT LOVE'S NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!?"

2. Have you yourself ever been "jaded", if so how? Ouch. Of course I have and mine was for the oddest reason. I got tired of being the "right man" after the wrong man. I kept meeting guys who were talking like they were open to a LTR, but who were so angry, so broken, so absent that they were just...jaded. That really started to get to me, especially when I lived in NYC. I was just heartbroken to find so many beautiful men who were just "not really looking for anything, but if something happens" with their hearts. I thought I was the only guy in the world who still believed in love...AND THAT PISSED ME OFF! (laughing).

3. I understand that you are a father. How did that come about? Ga'Vel Qwame is 17 now and have been with me since he was 13. He is the son of a woman in my church. He didn't have a father in his life and her other 2 children (from marriage) have their Dad. She asked me to spend time with him (as I do with young boys in my church, knowing that a movie or a day of fun can really change their lives) and I did. A movie became a day at the park. Then we would spend the weekend, just studying and trying to help him come out of his shell. Then, one day he called me "Dad" and his mother and I decided at the same time to come to each other about adoption. He's a great kid. He is going to grow up to be a great man because he's making all of his mistakes with a father present who can help him back up when he falls down.

4. How many years did you spend at BET as a producer? I produced at BET from 1993 (I started there in 1991) until 2002, when I left to finish UNCLUTTER (my first book, but that wasn't a novel) and concentrate on other projects. They still had me doing specials like BOYZ II MEN's COLOR OF LOVE video, which I covered in Africa, Spring Bling with 50 Cent and Busta Rhymes and other things. With TM3, my video production company, I am still working with BET, through BETJ. "LIFTED" (a gospel video show, hosted by TONEX) is a show that I have on the network now and "ROLE MODEL" (young singers/artists interviewing icons whose careers they have followed) is coming this Spring. "INTROspection" and "TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS" are coming this Fall.

5. If you could produce one big major project, what would it be? I have been talking about this for years. It would be "RECLAIMING DIVA: A JOURNEY OF BLACK WOMEN IN MUSIC." It's a 10 hour, week-long documentary, chronicling every woman who has ever sung! Each night is a different topic (from "SING IT, GIRL!" to "PAIN, THIS IS HER STORY") and BETJ and I are in talks about that project for next year's Black Music Month, because it is a HUGE endeavor, with every from Lena Horne and Nancy Wilson to Alicia Keys, Fantasia and Beyonce.

6. Why do you think so many people believe in LUCK rather than prayer? Honestly, I think that people don't really want to believe that God is watching them always. If that were so, that would mean that God was there when I got in trouble and if that's true, why wouldn't GOD JUST STOP ME! That thing about freewill is the reason that I think that so many don't like religion. People want God to bless them when they want to ignore the rest. Luck makes it a matter of choice. Grace is a matter of choice. I choose daily to be blessed, to be happy, to be creative, to be healthy. When I say that and pray that, God blesses me because I got what I asked for and then headed towards it! I asked for BET, but I had to quit my good government job and then join a temp agency that sent me to 3 different assignments before I walked into BET. That was a 2 year journey from saying "GOD I WANT TO WORK AT BET" to walking in the door.

7. How do you define success? Success to me is being able to sit alone in the quiet of my life and know that there isn't anything missing. Single as I am, I know that my partner isn't missing. I just haven't met him yet. Success for me is being able to look over my life and still say...WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS A PART OF THAT. Success for me is peace of mind, knowing that it's all good and only getting better, daily.

The SHADOW: On Luck in the People Pool

on luck in the people pool…

in a city like new york, where many, if not most of the black gay men are either on the dl, looking for white guys, or venturing into the latin arena; where does one attractive, intelligent, and successful young man meet an eligible, bachelor of the same caliber? apparently, our options are limited…

contradictory to the environment in which i was raised, i currently find myself frequenting bars and clubs primarily attended by black and latino gay men… and i'm lovin' it! the problem that i am running into, however, is that bars and clubs are not good places to meet minority gay men. you rarely, if ever, can have an actual conversation in a club; and 9 times out of 10, you're meeting a person's representative as opposed to their actual selves. in my experience, conversations (friendly, or otherwise) that i attempt to create in a bar or club never even get started unless the party i'm speaking to feels like i'll be of some use to him. that's pretty disgusting (as well as a whole other article). so bars and clubs are out…

where else should someone like me venture to have luck meeting people in the new york city pool of the urban gay successful and intelligent men? outside a bar or club i'm finding that there are very few, if any other options where gay men of color can meet. every other option that i have encountered has turned out to be something of a joke- book clubs where the novel in question hasn't been read by most in attendance; social events where upon attendance most people run straight to their cliques and never step out to encounter something new; or even birthday parties or get-togethers where everyone you talk to takes it upon themselves to react to you as if in your conversation, you are only trying to get into their pants.

and then there's online. what urban gay online site you know is not simply devoted (in reality as opposed to theoretically) to hooking up or having causal sex? now, i'm not counting myself out of this pool, as to do so would be hypocritical. i have profiles myself, and on occasion, make use of them in times when i'm feeling particularly vulnerable or lonely. however, i am truly looking for more. i am looking for friendship… and possibly even love.

if anyone knows of any places to meet quality men of color- whether it be for friendship or perhaps even a relationship please let me know. and i'm talking about events where those in attendance are actually seeking friendships or relationships, and are not just there to promote themselves, hook up with someone, or just (poorly) convince themselves that they are better than everyone else.
maybe it's not an activities issue, but a "community" issue. hmmm. i'll have to ponder that one…