interview with G. Winston James

1. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? WHAT IS YOUR BACKGROUND? I was born in Kingston, Jamaica. My family moved to Paterson, NJ when I was three years old. I grew up in Paterson—attended public grammar school then Catholic high school. After graduation, I attended Columbia University in New York City.

My first male to male experiences were in Paterson when I was as young as four. I later found creative ways to explore my attraction to men. I didn’t have a relationship with another man, though, until I was in college—and even that happened outside of the country…in Guadalajara, Mexico. Mexico was the first time I’d ever lived outside of the country (except Jamaica), the first time I had anal sex and the first time I spent the night in another man’s bed. Since then I’ve almost kept my promise to myself to visit every continent except Antarctica. I’ve only got Australia left. I’ve lived in Madrid and Rio de Janeiro, but New York City, has had the strongest effect on who I’ve become as a black gay man. The Other Countries writers workshop and the group GMAD (Gay Men of African Descent) were the organizations through which I truly found community.

2. YOU'VE WRITTEN POETRY BOOKS BEFORE. WHAT ARE THE TITLES? I’ve published poetry, short stories and essays in a bunch of anthologies, but I’ve only had one other poetry collection released. I released Lyric: Poems Along A Broken Road in 1998. It became a finalist for a Lambda Literary Award in poetry.

3. YOUR LATEST BOOK "THE DAMAGED GOOD: POEMS AROUND LOVE", WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE IT? I always write about what I live and the experiences of my friends and the community that I care about. Aside from our daily jobs and careers, I feel that a lot of gay men (maybe even most people) are consumed by the search for “intimacy.” Sometimes it’s sex, sometimes relationships, but that hunt is what drives a lot of us in our private moments. With that search come all kinds of passions, fears and anxieties about the decisions we make—safer sex, whether to bottom or top, love, heartache, disease, etc.

I wanted to write a book that spoke very, very directly about these issues. I say “around love” because most of these poems are not “love poems,” but poems about the whys, whats, hows, and wheres of our searches for sex, love and the fulfillment of desire.

So there are poems in The Damaged Good around childhood emotional need, sexual abuse, relationships, interracial dating, cruising (in parks, subways, on the internet, at sex parties, etc), unsafe sex, law breaking, imprisonment, death, and ultimately a call for some perspective. The book ends with poems that ask readers to consider loving themselves first and foremost as a kind of revolutionary act. I see The Damaged Good as a no-holds-barred look at the good, the bad and the ugly of our emotional and sexual needs and their fulfillment.

4. HOW WOULD YOU COLOR YOUR DESTINY? I color my destiny red (or maybe a flaming orange). I am a very passionate man. I have no intention of letting any of it go. I still have a lot of exploring to do.

5. TELL ME 3 POETS WHO YOU WOULD INVITE TO DINNER. WHEN YOU SIT DOWN, WHAT'S ON YOUR PLATE? WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? WHO'S AT THE TABLE WITH YOU? NOW ADD 3 MORE PEOPLE. I would invite Marvin K. White because of the joy and pain that I sense in his writing. Reginald Shepherd because I feel a search for belonging in some of his work, and am challenged by his use of language. And Staceyann Chin because she is my countrywoman and captures passion in her writing in a way that few can.

I think I’d like to have stew peas for dinner because it is one of my favorite Jamaican dishes and because the bones encourage you to put your fingers in your food. I want my dinner guests to get a little messy. I don’t think I’d have an issue with these three, but I’d want them to leave all pretensions at the door. To drink, we’d have carrot juice sweetened with condensed milk and spiced up with a dash of Guinness stout. This meal will be rich.

I’d like Lisa Moore, the publisher of RedBone Press at the table as well because she is down to earth and visionary—a blessed combination. My good friend Curu Necos-Bloice from the Dominican Republic because he is largely self-taught, brilliant and idiosyncratic. And Steven G. Fullwood because he is an archivist, art supporter, publisher and potential superhero.

This collection of people excites me.

6. DO YOU THINK THAT THE AVERAGE PERSON REALLY KNOWS AND HAS EXPERIENCED LOVE? DO YOU EARNESTLY FEEL THAT BLACK GAY MEN KNOW HOW TO LOVE EACH OTHER? I do believe that the average person has known and experienced love. Love is a profoundly personal thing and no one has a right to question another person’s emotional experience. I think that problems arise when individuals come to believe that “love” necessarily translates into everlasting relationships. I think that ‘til death do us part relationships are rare and overrated. I am a firm believer in engaging in relationships for only so long as those relationships are healthy and growth inspiring. When they no longer are, I encourage people to allow those relationships to evolve into another form—call it friendship, but some other form that takes advantage of their experiences together and their love.

I have my doubts that most black gay men know how to nurture and love one another. I could extend that reading to include many in the larger black community as well. I think that many of us are not accustomed to entering into equal partnerships built on the central idea of supporting and encouraging one another to grow—emotionally, intellectually, professionally, spiritually, sexually. I’m afraid that we are often too superficial in our relationships, too territorial, too petty (hating), stingy and concerned about what others think to give one another the energy, support and hope that we each need.

I think that more of us as black gay men need to work on our pride, love and acceptance of ourselves (warts and all) first before trying to give “all of ourselves” to others. Good loving requires courage. If we aren’t able to stand alone against the crowd (even the black gay crowd), I think we are not yet able to give a relationship all that is required for it to not only survive, but flourish. Sometimes sex, politics and provincialism stand in the way of our opportunities for love and growth.

7. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON INTERNET HOOK UPS? I have a number of internet profiles. While I’ve had a fun time or two, and made at least one lasting friendship, I don’t have the patience for the instant messaging and the dishonesty. I prefer to meet people unexpectedly during my day to day. That way I can see immediately whether there is a connection between our energies. I also like to touch the men I’m interested in as soon as possible. I’d rather not have a man standing at the door to my apartment before that touch can happen.

All that said, I know of at least one couple that met online and have been together for several years. I congratulate them, but I have not been so fortunate.